It Has to Begin Somewhere

I am nearing the end of my summer vacation. I am excited to meet my new students, but I am also dreading being away from my kiddo's everyday. My older girls are such fun, and I always feel like we have not done enough to encompass a good summer when it is over and time for school. And then there's the baby. Oh, how I could hardly stand to leave her scrumptiously fat little tiny babiness last year. This year is totally different though. She is such a little person, and that makes her harder to leave in some ways if that is possible. I felt last year like I was leaving my heart on the kitchen table everytime I went to work.Her baby antics are totally adorable and she is so fond of me after our summer together. This will be fleeting I know. It is like when she wanted nothing more than to be held by me at Christmas break last year. I knew it would be different by the next time I was off with her and it was. She was totally in to crawling by then. I fear once she is not with me all day for a while she will loose interest. I also nearly have her weaned which is adding to my melancholic sadness to be going back to work. I am so blessed that my Grandmother keeps her, but I still miss her when I am not with her. So soon, she will be off to school and then as it seems with all kids, they are never completely yours again. So much changes once they go. Now it is still 4 years away, but I am no fool at how soon her sisters reached that age and are now about to enter 1st and 3rd grades. I know before I can turn around twice I will no longer be the mother of a small child, a preschooler. I am already not the mother of a little baby and it is bittersweet for sure. Anyway, I am always thinking I should keep a diary and I never seem to be able to. I thought perhaps this would encourage me more knowing it was online and all. I will stop my semi depressive dish for the evening.